Relationship Coaching Continued...
i think you'd agree we were not born and handed a playbook for relationships.
The truth is they can be hard. And there are so many things to think about and deal with if we want to be successful:
- how to listen well
- when to set boundaries
- how to get your needs met
- how to decide if you should move on or not
- how to know if they are the right person to begin with
- how to stay, keep love alive, and still accept your differences
If you can relate to the necessity of some of these skills, that’s great. Believe it or not, these are only some of the basic requirements to have a successful relationship.
If you didn't have effective role-modeling and gain these skills your relationships will be far more difficult.
Some people were raised in really solid homes and so take for granted what many of us never got. There is no way around it, if you want better results – we have to re-learn these things to enjoy healthy relationships.
We need ways of “flushing-up” any patterns that are derailing us that are nearly impossible to see that other's easily see.
These are all great questions we answer in the Ed Ferrigan Relationship Coaching program and some other programs I’ll share in a moment.
What Makes Me Qualified?
I’m recalling back to 1995 when I hit an all time low, 30-days after my mother passed away.
By that time in my life, I had been through so many relationships I was quite concerned about how I could continue to live in a world where I felt so out of place.
Looking back there are a few things that make all the difference. This is the big one…
Little did I know or understand how the unconscious mind works and how it was constantly influencing my decisions and beliefs.
I didn’t understand it was negatively filtering the way I would select potential partners.
When you hear people saying, “My picker is broken!” this is what they are talking about.
Wether I was in a relationship or newly dating, I didn’t understand how my unconscious “wiring” caused me to do really stupid things in the relationship.
To make bad choices or to leave out critical information that would have determined the relationship fate early on - before so much time was wasted.
For example, I didn’t understand how “defending” my position about my beliefs was undermining any chance of finding common ground with my potential partner.
Or how critical or judgmental I’d get when a person started falling in love with me…as a way of keeping them at a distance for fear of getting my heart broken again…
After years of failing, I reached an all time low. It’s unfortunate that human beings typically have to hit an all time low before they will change or take some kind of new action.
That was 24 years ago and I am here to share that you can have your dream relationship no matter where you are at today.
My journey has brought me through the crucible of dismantling the beliefs, thinking patterns, and bad habits that hold most people back. This includes everything from attracting a great relationship, to then sustaining then sustaining it when you think you have found your soulmate.
Resources At Your Fingertips
In the Ed Ferrigan Relationship Coaching program you have access to a lot of leading edge resources at your fingertips. It’s a complete solution.
A simple way to get started is to look at the bigger picture of your situation. Over the years I've discovered some key areas in relationships. When these areas are tended to and nurtured, relationships work. I created a tool called The Relationship Success Wheel. Get your FREE copy HERE
Another fantastic and Hallmark Course in the Ed Ferrigan Coaching suite is the Getting Relationship Right Mastery Program. An invaluable resource to instruct anyone on the basics of relationships including…
- Making healthy agreements, maintaining them, how to change them when needed with out losing your connection
- What is healthy responsibility? Lessons designed to help you discern how your past is causing you to stay stuck in old patterns. How to recognize when you have given up your personal power and how to get it back in an instant. How taking full ownership of your experience immediately changes the dynamic between the two of you for the better. Lots more here…
- Processing emotions effectively. Every relationship will stir up your past. If there are any emotional “incompletions” I can guarantee you the partner you select to date or marry will trigger them. But most of the time it’s counter-intuitive how to process those experiences. Every highly emotionally charged experience that shows up is an opportunity to learn and update your memory system that is running behind the scene. Think about this: Neuroscience now shares that humans operate out of unconscious habituated patterns between 85-95% of the day. So basically we are on autopilot. We must understand how to create new patterns that are unconscious and that serve our relationships in a positive way.
- Communication skill development. At the heart of healing any dysfunctional belief or developmental trauma, we must learn about communication dynamics. When you learn how to effectively communicate its like one domino knocking over several in one event. You gain an advantage in all areas of your life when you learn healthy communication dynamics. This program provides you all you need.
These are just a few benefits you can count on to get your compass moving in the right direction.
Another program is the How To Stop Fighting And Arguing Program. This was a tool I developed because of the number of clients that came to me because of arguing and fighting going on in their relationship.
I created this video based program so they could learn all the basics for a one-time low price (saving a lot of money on therapy) then when they came to the coaching they were much further along in the changes they were trying to make.
Did you know that the number 1 reason couples give for getting a divorce is because they constantly fought? Pretty amazing considering all the tools out there today on how to have healthy communication.
In the How to Stop Fighting And Arguing Program you get:
- Communication Skills development. World class lessons to practice that will help you to communicate in a way that you feel heard. What to do when you get triggered and want to explode or “dismiss” others comments – that only make things worse.
- Listening Filters: These lessons will help you to identify and completely change, if needed, your listening filters that determine your style of communication. Once you understand and know how to instantly change your listening filters your relationship will improve. You’ll also become smarter and more in control of your personal power and how to keep your relationship solid even when difference feel impossible to solve.
- Boundaries: How to determine when you are being a “doormat” versus setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries are essential for feeling safe in your relationship. Without them you will continue to trip yourself up and be resentful. I used to be one of those ”rescuer” types who always took the brunt for the “team” only to realize being the sacrificial lamb was not helping the relationship.
- Video based program you regularly refer back to without additional expense when life throws you a curve ball just when you think you have things under control.
- There is a lot more in this program but I’ll keep it short for this brief introduction.
Then there is the Ed Ferrigan Coaching Program.
This is a world class program that helps you to integrate any aspect of relationships that you know you want to change. It includes…
- How to use your mind-body-spiritual connection to heal any past breach completely so you operate day-to-day from a place of joy
- How to process your emotions so traumatic events from the past stop recycling creating discomfort and second guessing of your relationship
- How to “complete” the incompletions from your childhood that leak into your current relationships so the triggers go away forever
- How to communicate your needs when you are triggered and confused
- How to differentiate from another so you stop giving away your personal power and can easily maintain it no matter what trips you up in life
- How to resolve issues that get triggered by anyone in your circle, from bosses to partners
These are just a few thing that I deal with daily with my clients.
I would love to work with you as well if you feel called to working with me.
In fact, you can even get a FREE one hour session (30 minute for sample and 30 min Q&A) to test it out. To see if we are a good fit and my process is right for you. I never use high pressure sales tactics to sign you up either so you can have a totally stress free experience.
Another valuable resource is the Ed Ferrigan blog. The blog has many articles that give you solutions too many common relationship issues.
I’ve posted some top links at the end of this page for your convenience.
This is a quick summary of resources for you to help you achieve the relationships of your hearts desire.
I love this work and every day strive to bring more-and-more solutions to help you make the transition as easy as possible so you can spend your time enjoying life instead of worrying what will happen week-to-week.
If any of this speaks to you, maybe it’s time to commit.
Remember, our brains don’t like change and as quick as you think something is a good idea – it will come up with a million reasons why not to follow through on it.
I’ve given you a brief overview of what you can expect.
What will determine your success though, is the measure of how deep your commitment is to acknowledging something needs to change and your commitment to follow-thorough on it.
Thank you for your time and I’m here if you need me.
Much love and many blessings on this life journey.
P.S. Remember, you have nothing to lose by trying out the FREE 1 hour session. You can enroll in that here.
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