How To Stop Insecurity From Causing Bad Decisions

Insecurity haunts all couples. I will show you how to dismantle it...

In this article, you will learn about how insecurity influences your decisions outside of your awareness.

We sometimes use words without pausing to reflect on what they mean.

Often, when we pause and think about what it means in the context of our overall life it can reveal new awarenesses that make your life easier.

For example, as a trauma release coach, I often hear the phrase “I feel insecure.”

What does this word mean or imply to you?

Scared, fearful, vulnerable, hesitant?

I think you would agree when we are feeling insecure we make more mistakes and we send mixed signals to people. We feel less sure about ourselves and have an unclear bead on the best course of action. Our decisions are often not as solid.

Today, I want to show you a tool I regularly teach people in my coaching practice. It will minimize the negative effects of how your memory may be influencing your decisions.

When you practice it, it will quickly modify memories from the past that need to be updated.

A Quick Tool To End The Curse of Memory Bias

Pause for a moment and think of something that makes you nervous. It could be public speaking, interviewing for a new job, the fear you won’t be able to pay bills this month etc.

1. Identify Sensations Related to Your Fear

Now scan your body and notice where in your body do you feel sensations related to your thoughts?

Where is your breath?

What do you notice in your chest?

What do you notice in your solar plexus? (where your ribs come together in an upside down “V”)

What do you notice in your neck or jaw?

Simply scan and name the sensation.

For example: tight, queazy, tingly, buzzing, cold, sharp, ache and so on.

2. Pick a Hand

Now pick a hand that symbolizes those feelings. Let’s say it’s the left hand.

Take a moment to pause and feel all your feeling related to this insecurity.

In your mind say to yourself “Okay, this is what “X” feel like when I tune into my body.

3. The Other Hand

Now take the other hand and start thinking about what is actually true, what you want it to be, and in your control.

Expand on this. Focus your mind on what success looks like. Focus on bringing in thoughts that describe the ideal outcome. What you want it to be like. Take the old thoughts that cause you to contract and instead think of things that might be possible.

Notice how different you start to feel.

In your mind say to yourself “Okay, this is what “X” feels like when I focus on the new possibility.”

Now go back and forth a few times. Maybe 5 seconds in the negative and 15 seconds in the positive. The key is to feel it to the point where you can easily distinguish the difference.

Learning To Break The Illusion

One key thinking pattern I see in people is they equate the past with the present. Another downside to our implicit memory system. They have self-defeating thoughts before they even give their ideas a chance.

This is the death march to disabling your ability to manifest.

Get it in your mind right now. Tattoo it into your eyelids if you have to.

Never forget we are creating machines. Everything you see around your home came from human beings creating things.

At some level, you contributed to that “product” being important just by purchasing it. You are part of the bigger whole.

We ALL have this potential when we break things down into small enough steps.

Don’t confuse old memories and beliefs with what is actually possible.

Make it a daily practice to give more attention to what you are wanting and how to break it down into small enough steps that you can easily move forward.

This process dismantles neuro-structures in your brain causing you to limit yourself.

We ALL have this potential when we break things down into small enough steps.

Through this practice, you are rebuilding new neuro-structures that will eventually become the default. Start today because it does take some time to re-wire yourself but it’s well worth it.

Don’t confuse old memories and beliefs with what is actually possible.

The Magic

When you are fearful and practice this “hand” technique, something magical begins to happen.

You start to realize your mind and thoughts are what is causing your limited thinking or fear.

With practice, you’ll want to put your attention into what do you want. Give your fear some airtime but not much. Feel it, then as quickly as possible move into the zone of “what’s possible.” Get good at separating them out. The old from the new.

Let me know your thoughts about this by commenting below. And be sure to share this with your friends by clicking the share buttons to your left. It makes the world a better place.


Ed Ferrigan

P.S. Here is an exceptional tool to help you access and completely resolve the “old memories” that are negatively influencing you. If you use this tool enough it will teach you how to untangle any early life experience that is still negatively affecting you.

Please share?

Relationship expert, Ed Ferrigan, M.A., CPCC, has been helping singles, couples, managers, and teams break through limiting beliefs and communicate more effectively for over 25 years. Ed is author of the book 100+ Ways To Get Back On The Horse, facilitates workshops on communication skills and provides relationship coaching all over the world using web technology. Ed is a local resident of Boise, ID is an avid dancer, and enjoys fly-fishing.

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